Survey Part One of Two

If you got selected to be on a reality show which would it be, and why? Finding Bigfoot. I don't like camping and they don't ever find Bigfoot, but that Bobo maniac would be fun to hang out with.

                                                       


On a scale of 1-10 how large is your attention span? Umm I guess a 6...well, wait what?


Are you sure that you were born in the right era? Sometimes I think it would be fun to live in another era, but honestly I like indoor plumbing and not dying of dysentery so now is just fine by me.


The last text you sent is the only thing you can say for the rest of your life. How screwed are you? It was, “Hey, you up?” so I guess if that's all I could say people would think I'm a motivational speaker.


Name at least three things you could stand to cut out of your life. Soda, pessimism, and neighbors.


If you could be invisible for a day what would you do? “Dave, did you have this large, museum-quality collection of art the last time I was here? And are those bank money bags sloppily hidden under that tarp in the garage?”


How do you deal with criticism? And what the hell do you mean by that? Huh?


How do you think you will fare when the Zombie Apocalypse arrives? I'm not going to lie. I'll get a few of them, but if they're those fast zombies from newer movies, I'm screwn. Plus I'd be stopping after every zombie kill to take a shower, so that's gonna slow me down some.


You ordered pizza last night and have been looking forward to eating the leftovers all day. You go home and the box is still in the fridge, but someone has eaten all of it and its empty. What do you do? Call the police. Hahaha. No, seriously, officer I'd like to file a report.

                                                             



What’s something you’re nostalgic for? Sleepovers with ghost stories. Why the hell don't adults do that? Set up a tent in the living room, big bowl of popcorn, c'mon now.


What do you think people assume or know about you by looking at your blog? That I don't have much to say because I don't update very often. I do, but I always wind up doubting if it's really worth my or your time to type up a thousand words about my head-melting rage that shit like 50 Shades of Grey gets published and churns out money like an ATM that ate potato salad left out in the sun.


If you were an element on the Periodic Table, which would you be and why? Thorium. It was once used in lantern mantles. It's also radioactive, which means the atoms are unstable but are trying to reach stability by emitting energy.